To a Pretty Average Father

To … an utterly amazing, stupendous, incredible, energetic, attentive, generous, fantastic, charismatic, humorous, effervescent, accomplished, cordial, electrifying, brave, fabulous, loving, chivalrous, intelligent, compassionate, magnificent, fascinating, groovy, obliging, serene, delightful, impressive, courageous, lovable, with just a hint of juniper, benevolent, awesome, phenomenal, rational, assiduous, joyful, caring, gregarious, debonair, captivating, rapturous, charming, kind, formidable, considerate, trustworthy, sympathetic, gracious, optimistic, philanthropic, jaunty, amiable, sublime, outstanding and astonishing but otherwise pretty damn average father.

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To a Pretty Average Father - Extracts
 

FATHER’S DAY TRIVIA

• + Father's Day is the ninth most popular card-sending holiday – just slightly less popular than Groundhog Day and Rogation Sunday.

• + Neckties are top of the list of Father’s Day gifts. Psychiatrist, Dr. Isa Mannaitter, suggests that this is because of the similarities between the tie and the noose.

• + Every February the Ancient Romans honoured their fathers –- but only the dead ones.

• + Modern Father’s Day began in 1910 after UK card publisher Ripoff Press manufactured too many Mother’s Day cards. They overprinted the word “Mother” with “Father” and, voilà!, suddenly dad was special too.

• + Due to an oversight, there was no Father’s Day in 1953. This was not discovered until 1958 and to make amends there were two Father’s Days in that year.

• + 11.2% of all Father’s Day cards are sent by the father to himself.

• + It’s not only humans that celebrate their fathers. Once a year the Silverback Gorillas, that inhabit the Congo, give their fathers gifts crafted from palms and bamboo. They do not send cards but this may be simply due to the poor postal service in the region.

• + The most exotic Father’s Day present was given by Louise to her dad Douglas in 1999. She bought him an acre of land on Mars and had a special spaceship built so that he could visit it. It is estimated that he will arrive on 7th September 2024.