To a Pretty Average Father

To … an utterly amazing, stupendous, incredible, energetic, attentive, generous, fantastic, charismatic, humorous, effervescent, accomplished, cordial, electrifying, brave, fabulous, loving, chivalrous, intelligent, compassionate, magnificent, fascinating, groovy, obliging, serene, delightful, impressive, courageous, lovable, with just a hint of juniper, benevolent, awesome, phenomenal, rational, assiduous, joyful, caring, gregarious, debonair, captivating, rapturous, charming, kind, formidable, considerate, trustworthy, sympathetic, gracious, optimistic, philanthropic, jaunty, amiable, sublime, outstanding and astonishing but otherwise pretty damn average father.

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Other books by Stuart McLean

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Embarrassing things TO SAY TO YOUR DAUGHTER’S first boyfriend

 

She’s my precious little girl, touch her and I’ll chop off your penis.

Take this alarm clock with you. Come straight home when it chimes 8 o’clock.

Do you think I look nice in this mini-skirt and fish-net stockings?

She’s not getting on that vintage Harley-Davidson-Knucklehead – you can take the bus.

Look, son, she’s my only daughter . . . could you elope with her and make me a happy man?